Funnier Than Most Casino Jokes
Jokes are a great way to relax and forget about the stress of the day by relieving yourself from the troubles of everyday life. Especially if you are a high rolling poker player online.
Reading jokes and telling jokes between friends has always been good for a chuckle. But casino jokes and poker jokes just seem to have a little something involved that if you are not a gambler you may not exactly find these jokes funny. So I know that you will particularly enjoy these side splitting jokes.
Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates and says, "Bill you're such a unique individual that we've decided to give you a choice between heaven and hell."
Bill thinks about this and asks if he can get a look at the two options.
St. Peter says, "Sure, I've got a couple of windows you can look through."
So he opens the window to heaven and Bill sees lots of angels sitting on clouds plucking harps.
Peter then opens the second window to hell. It's a brightly lit casino - lots of people drinking, laughing, and having a good time. There are naked dancing girls on stage and in the corner a nice little poker room.
Doyle, Mike and other poker greats are playing Bill's favorite $3-$6 Hold'em.
There's an empty seat with chips and they wave at Bill to come join them in the game. Bill tells Saint Peter that he's decided that hell looks like its more fun than heaven and he wants to join the poker game. Saint Peter snaps his fingers and Bill's wish is granted.
Well about 6 months go by and Saint Peter decides to see how his friend Bill is doing. He opens the window to hell and there is Bill shacked by his ankles, hanging over a fiery pit.
Peter asks him how he likes his new home. Bill says, "Saint Peter, this isn't anything like you showed me. What happened?"
Saint Peter responds, "Sorry Bill, I thought you realized that was just the demo version".
Quit Your Job, Sell Your House, Take All Your Money and Go to Las Vegas
There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice.
Later in the day, he hears the voice again. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
Again, he ignores the voice.
Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice.
He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas.
As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe."
He goes to The Horseshoe.
The voice says, "Put all your money into a World Series of Poker entry."
He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP.
He goes to his assigned tournament table.
The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt Ace of spades and the Ace of diamonds.
The voice says, "Go all in."
He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot. Three players call.
The dealer lays down the flop which is 8h9h10h.
The voice says, "Fuck."
And this last poker joke is a reason why none of us should listen to those little voices in our heads and instead listen to that feeling in our gut.
